Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Skoobadeedoobeedoo. Skoobadeedoobeedoo.

Since most of the other folks have their favorite chapters, I will say these two are collectively my favorites.

Those old ladies... they make me so mad, mostly because they remind me of two old ladies I know who are the exact same. They think they can make everything better and they're always right, and yeah, they aren't annoying in the least bit, right? It's none of their business, but they have to go digging around and whatnot, trying to make a poor fellow's life better, even though this certain poor fellow wouldn't know Dr. Pepper from Dr. Thunder, or Papa John's from J.B.'s. But the idiot gets his; even a guy who eats his own feces knows there's something wrong with these hags. Is this guy a kid? They describe him as very small (the judge's waist) and the old ladies call him a child. But anyway, the naked "balden groundsloth" gets out of there while the gettin's good, and sure enough finds the judge... who is also naked. "Like a great midwife." Only what's the child? Because I see the idiot as more of the afterbirth. Regardless, it was a great line.

I'm glad we got to experience some of Brown's bad-butt-ery. Lighting guys on fire with cigars, firing a howitzer with... a cigar. He made me sad though, twice. First when he lights the guy on fire. I'm laughing; it's all fun. Especially at "the man ran outside mute save for the whoosh of the flames," haha, made me laff. But then the words, "[he] burned up." It makes me sad, why I don't know. And then, even worse, was the guard of the prison. Yeah, the kid was an idiot to trust the guy in the cell; the guy with EARS around his neck. It was obviously coming, but it made me sad because the boy was so optimistic; he was sure these were the first steps to a new life. But he's shot through the back of his head. Even in the wanton malicious 1849 west, Brown has to feel a little bad, right? But forget the sadness; remember the bad-butt-ery. "I believe that man done withdrawed his charges." Brown basically gets through this dilemma the same way Judge and Glanton got through the one a few chapters ago. A blatant lie. "Nah, that ain't me."

Glanton goes on a big errand (all the while keeping his headphones in, playing Bachman-Turner Overdrive's "Taking Care of Business" on repeat). No messing around, just going to get his boy back. He's on his way back, basking in his man-ness, and then he... gets axed in the head. I didn't see this one coming. I figured he would've stuck it out.

I have a load more, but I'll skip the lesser parts and talk about judge. Picking up the howitzer like the man beast he is. Yeah, it's not a cannon, it's a bloody rifle. And that's what America does: we pick up howitzers and aim them at injin's faces. He was found with a twelve year old but who even cares after that stunt? Looks like he's on his own now (with the idiot, for whatever he is worth). Looking forward to the next chapters.

Yeah, lastly a wordy word simile. "The judge was standing on the rise in silhouette against the evening sun like some great balden archimandrite."

Some words: clerical (in that awesome simile, describing the vulture on the dead guy)
juzgado-spanish for "court"

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